


A Performance of Lies

by EternalFluffy



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Love Across The Universe: Dangan Salmon Team, M/M, Nonverbal Communication, discussions of sex but no actual sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 16:23:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14288799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalFluffy/pseuds/EternalFluffy
Summary: Shuichi and Kokichi are the "winners" of this terrible reality dating show...but before they're allowed to "graduate", before the rest of their classmates are allowed to leave, Monokuma has a surprise new rule: Consummate. Or terminate. But how can they...? How will they get through this together when...?





	A Performance of Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Most importantly: THIS IS NOT SMUT. Don't read this expecting a "payoff" or get disappointed when it doesn't "go anywhere". That's the point. The Mature rating is just for the language and the suggestive discussions. 
> 
> I kind of just wrote this on a whim, because I needed something like this. I identify as a bi-romantic asexual, myself, and I just...really wanted an asexual relationship with my OTP, haha. I may have rushed through a little bit, too, because I wrote this mostly just for my own satisfaction, but if it resonates with someone else, too, that would make me really happy.

"Really?! So...after that, you'll let us all go?!"

"Why, of course!" The asymmetrical robot bear pressed his round paws to his oddly-shaped mouth. "A bear never goes back on his word!"

The group of smaller ursine models below bounced up and down, vouching for their father's integrity with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"Then what're you waitin' for, Shuichi? Once you guys get this over with, we're home free!"

"I-I know, but..." Kaito's insistence wasn't helping--the nervous detective just looked away. But he really couldn't blame himself. The request...no, the _demand_ hanging over Shuichi's head was...ridiculous. Unheard of. And extremely embarrassing. This rule...this stupid new rule the bears had sprung on him at the last second... It was distasteful, intrusive, inconceivable. He wasn't the only one who thought so, at least...but that didn't mean he had any choice in the matter.

It was the final day of the his horrid "reality dating show" he'd been forced into...and he and his fifteen fellow unwilling participants were standing before the large gate to the casino area, where Monokuma had instructed them all to meet. It had been here that he'd announced the "winners"--the most popular and closest couple that had formed during their imprisonment. Those two people should have been able to "graduate" and escape, but... Now, there was a brand-new twist...one that none of them would have expected.

"Nyeehee!" A familiar voice snickered from around Shuichi's shoulder, and when he glanced down, he saw the purple mop of the Ultimate Supreme Leader's head leaning close to his side. "You don't have to be so shy, Shumai! I know how excited you really are! There's no use trying to hide it now!"

A tug of anxiety pulled at Shuichi's insides. Kokichi was only joking around--he'd been with him enough to be able to recognize that much. But...would it hurt him to know that he _wasn't_ excited? He didn't want to insult him or anything...

It had been the weirdest announcement he'd ever experienced, and one the cut straight into his heart. The awful cadence of the bear's pitching voice was still trapped in his memory as he'd made the unexpected pronouncement... "And now, our two lucky winners will get to consummate their love together! Only once their union is solidified in a night of lust and passion will the exit open for the rest of you bastards!"

It had been then that Shuichi realized why they'd been brought to the gates of the casino. Monokuma intended to make use of the heretofor abandoned "Hotel Kumasutra".

Some of the others--Tenko in particular--had made an outcry. That such a thing was too filthy and indecent. But Monokuma and his cubs had skillfully argued that it was exactly what today's sex-crazed audience was looking for, and that he wouldn't let anyone go until he got that "hot, steamy, fresh footage".

And, of course, the designated "winners" of this dubious dating show were Shuichi himself...and the grinning little liar currently clinging to his side.

Shuichi couldn't deny--he and Kokichi were...rather close now. It had taken quite a while, but...they'd come to truly care for and understand each other, after days of slowly reaching past their emotional, mental barriers. And even though he still felt awkward and embarrassed at times, Shuichi could safely say that he truly loved Kokichi. And although it had taken forever for Kokichi to open his heart to him in return...he was certain his feelings were thoroughly reciprocated for real. Sure, Kokichi was a habitual liar...but some things about him were surprisingly warm and genuine. Shuichi knew, without a doubt.

From the moment their lips had first gently touched, to this morning, when he'd awoken to playful fingers rustling his hair. Their love had been so unexpected, so unlikely, in a place like this...but that made it all the more miraculous and wonderful. Even so...right now...

Honestly, as much as he loved him, and as much as he thought about him, Shuichi had never even imagined making love to him. Kokichi's body was beautiful, adorable, perfect... He loved its shape and size and its delicate angles...he loved the feel of it nestled in his arms. But he'd never really...had any desire to reach its more private areas...or to press his own against it. A piece of him worried that that was...insulting. Did it mean...he didn't truly love him enough? That he _should_ be feeling those things...or else Kokichi wasn't "the one"? Did Kokichi have those kinds of sexual thoughts and fantasies about _him_? He...supposed he didn't mind, but... It was true that Kokichi loved to tease him in a suggestive manner...but he'd always felt certain that they were just jokes. If they _hadn't_ been jokes, then...

"Don't be nervous!" Kokichi snapped Shuichi from his deep musings by nuzzling his fluffy head to his upper arm. "It's just a performance of our passionate lovemaking in front of the entire world!"

"Ah...!" And he hadn't even considered that aspect, too. An anxious flush flooded Shuichi's face, even though he knew that was just the facts. Was the whole world going to be evaluating his..."performance"? It wouldn't just be Kokichi he had to please. God, he was so nervous.

Very subtly, he felt his arm shaking...and Kokichi gently stroking it with his thumb, as if to reassure him. _Kokichi...?_ He wished he could just ask. _Will you be okay? Will you still be alright with me if...I can't match your passion? If I'm really no good at this? Will it still be okay with you...?_

"Well, jeez, I'll at least be editing and censoring the nastiest bits, so its suitable for public television!" Monokuma insisted. "This isn't some triple-X-rated production! We've got _some_ degree of class!"

"No cheapin' out, though!" The yellow-colored Monokub added. "We're gonna tell if youse don't follow through! We gotta make sure youse two ain't fakin' it, after all!"

"CONSUMMATE." The extra-robotic green Monokub droned. "OR TERMINATE."

"You heard the little shit-worms," Miu spoke out above them, completely unaffected by the announcement. "You two weenies get to fuckin' already! We want outta here!"

Kokichi tittered, and it looked liked he was about to make a jibe back at her in return, before Monokuma sprang from the podium he'd used to stand on, and the Monokubs immediately threw themselves back into their protective Exisal machines.

To various cheers and complaints, the gate opened, and the giant robots began to escort Shuichi and Kokichi inside. Before it slid closed again, Shuichi peeked through the gaps between the Exisals' arms, looking to his friends. Kaito looked nothing but enthusiastic and encouraging. Maki looked like she wanted to murder Kokichi, but that was no surprise.

And Kaede...she had a sort of hesitant smile on her face. An expression of support and gladness, but her lips were pressed too tightly together, her eyes not as bright as they should be. She knew...of course, she could tell that he was having reservations about this. But, unfortunately, she knew as well as he did...that he wasn't being given a choice.

"We'll...see you all again soon," Shuichi spoke up, hoping his voice would lend a tiny bit of reassurance to this tense moment.

"Nah." Kokichi grasped his hand and forcefully waved at them. "We're leaving you guys. Just the two of us. Sayonara, suckers!"

If he hadn't been so worried, Shuichi might have found it silly and harmless, but as he was, he found his muscles clenching. What if they _couldn't_ escape? What if he couldn't "perform" well enough? Was he about to disappoint everyone, including his tentative boyfriend?

Anyway, before he could object, the gate closed to Kokichi's enthusiastic waving. He was grinning and chuckling without a care in the world...but then again, that was pretty much his default demeanor. Shuichi knew very well by now not to take his face at face value. Desperately, he wished he could read his thoughts...what did he think about all of this? But there was no time, no place to ask...and he knew he wouldn't receive a genuine answer, anyway.

With a bit electronic banter, the five armored mech suits escorted the two of them towards the hotel, its neon pink sign blinking ominously in the artificial darkness. That was a lot of wasted electricity...but, he supposed the show's budget could handle it. After all, imagine how much money a single Exisal could cost... He was trying to distract himself, and he knew it.

Monosuke stomped forward and inserted one of his machine's fingers into the door's lock, simply clicking it open. And the others surrounded Shuichi and Kokichi, forcing them inside. Immediately, the door closed behind them, clacking back into a locked position. Suddenly, Shuichi wondered if Kokichi might be able to pick it open again...but then again, the Exisals would probably be waiting at the entrance to stop them if they tried to escape that way. And...he wasn't even sure if Kokichi would _want_ to escape.

Looking around, Shuichi felt the pit of his stomach churn. The lighting, the sickly pink color of this room, the disturbing, toothy smiles of the rotating carousel horses...not to mention the... _tools_ in the right corner... It was like he'd wandered onto the set of a bad porno, and it was more distressing, since he was being expected to _make_ a bad porno. _I...I hope Kokichi isn't going to want to use any of that...stuff._

Speaking of Kokichi, he was already examining the wall beside the bed, his hand sliding over something. Suddenly, with a quiet click, he flipped some sort of switch, and the motion of the horse cutouts came to a halt. "There." He announced, as if he'd known all along what he'd been doing. "We don't need any more spectators than we already have, do we?" He was smiling, casually, as always, appearing completely unaffected.

"Uh..." Awkwardly, Shuichi tried to form the words, the questions at the edge of his thoughts. "This is...weird. But...um..."

"D'awww, Shuichi's so nervous! How adorable!" Kokichi snickered and moved around him, looking him up and down. "It's cause it's your very first time, isn't it? Awwwww, don't worry. If you behave yourself, I won't have to hurt you..."

"Um...isn't it your first time, too?"

"Uh-uh! It's not!"

"...Is that a lie?"

"Nyeeheehee! Well, you'll see! Decide for yourself!"

Shuichi could swear he saw a little shiver run through Kokichi's body...but he didn't know why.

"Though I wish we didn't have so much unwelcome company, I'm still so excited! I've been waiting to claim all of your body, my lovely Shumai..." Kokichi folded his arms behind his back and leaned slightly forward, licking his lips, and reflexively, Shuichi shivered as well.

"Um...promise to...take it slow though?"

"Awww, we can't go _too_ slow," Kokichi whined. "Everyone will get bored! Buuuuut, if it's what my dear Shuichi needs..." Sensually, he reached behind his head and untied his bandanna, slipping it from his neck and exposing his thin collarbone and delicate throat. And he wrapped it in one fist, lifting his hands to the ragged scoop collar of his white shirt/uniform thing. "I'll pick up the pace for you. So...try to keep up."

Shuichi took in a slow, calming, solidifying breath. This was happening. This was going to happen. He just had to get this over with. He felt nothing...not excited or happy, but not particularly disgusted either. In truth, Kokichi really was beautiful. But he felt no _need_ , no _desire_. It was embarrassing and probably shameful. He was probably going to be terrible at this. But...if it was what he wanted...

"A-Alright." He finally spoke. And with one shaky first step, he finally began to move...towards the red-covered bed in the center of the room. The velvet curtain to their stage, as it were. This would be the way his virginity expired--before a rapt audience, as a part of some twisted test...but at least, with the one he'd come to love.

Shuichi felt the softness, the smooth fabric of the bedcovers underneath him as he sat down, and his eyes closed, turning away from the pervasive lights and oppressive, demanding atmosphere. Focus. Focus entirely on Kokichi...on making him happy. It was the only thing that mattered to him here and now. _For you...I'll do anything._ "I'll try...my best."

"Shhhhhh, have some confidence, love!" With nothing but glee, Kokichi hopped into Shuichi's lap, folding his legs around his waist and fitting his hands over his shoulders. "For someone so plain and boring on the surface, I just know you're _smoldering_ deep down in there. Mm-hmm!" And he leaned in just a little closer, squeezing their lips together.

It was a pleasant enough kiss...but somehow, it didn't reach Shuichi's heart...not like their first kiss, not like the silent kisses they'd shared alone in his room. As Kokichi pulled back, he caught onto a tiny quiver in his bottom lip. Was that...because he was excited? Was that an effect of arousal? He really didn't have a clue--he had to admit, he was almost completely ignorant when it came to this sort of thing. It had just...never interested him.

"A healthy teenager's mind is supposed to be filled with sex and lust"...Monokuma had said that before, hadn't he? Did that mean he wasn't a "healthy teenager"? But when had Monokuma ever been right about anything, anyway? Still...no matter what...

When Shuichi looked back up into Kokichi's wide, soft purple eyes, at the way his fluffy hair framed his porcelain-smooth face in a halo of wavy tufts...he couldn't help but want to give everything for this precious being in his grasp. "Kokichi..." He just wanted to say his name. And Kokichi apparently took that as some sort of sign.

He kicked off his shoes. He leaned in closer. And he popped open Shuichi's collar with thin, delicate fingers, gently sliding them down, undoing every button...all the way. Shuichi closed his eyes again, zeroing in on the feeling of his jacket slipping from his shoulders, down his arms. Perhaps he should be more nervous. He should probably be shuddering, sweating, flushing bright red...something. But nothing was coming to him.

Kokichi giggled, and he, at least, managed a dusty pale pink blush. With a flourish, he threw Shuichi's jacket to the ground and his mouth twitched up into a wicked--or perhaps sexy--smirk. "Theeeeeere we go. I'm gonna see allllll your little secrets. Cause I want you...and you're going to be mine forever." A tiny rumble that almost sounded like a purr came from Kokichi's throat...and he pressed another kiss to Shuichi's jaw before tumbling sideways onto the bed and shoving the covers open.

Complacently, Shuichi reached down, taking off his shoes and socks. Did he need to be _completely_ naked? What if he was just wearing socks? Would that be weird? Probably...

By the time he turned back around to face Kokichi, the little trickster was already shirtless...and beginning to undo his belt. _Shouldn't_ I _be the one undressing him? I mean...if he doesn't_ want _me to undress him, that's fine. It's not like I have a desire to undress him. I'm just..._

If only he'd had a day's warning that this was going to happen. He could have read something...some sort of how-to about homosexual intercourse. He was the sort of person who wanted to get everything right, after all.

God, Kokichi's skin was so paper-white, he was practically reflecting the harsh pink light. Any lighter, and he might become translucent. It contrasted so starkly with the deep purple of his hair...he almost seemed ethereal. He was very thin, perhaps a little too thin, a few bumps of his ribs showing, especially as he shifted around and slid his belt off. His body really was beautiful, Shuichi couldn't deny it... He loved this small and deceptively fragile body...and yet...

Kokichi said nothing as he tugged him down onto the bed beside him.

"You're beautiful," Shuichi told him--the only thing he could think to say. "Sexy talk" just wasn't in him, not like the teasing little lines Kokichi was dripping off his honeyed lips.

"Well, _duh_!" Kokichi tittered, still blushing a bit. "Mmm, betcha can't wait to get your hands all over this, huh? And all your everything else." He pressed Shuichi firmly against the bed...and began to open the buttons of his white dress shirt, inch by inch revealing more of his silky skin.

They were both deathly pale, though Kokichi was probably one tiny shade paler. They probably looked like two vampires shrinking beneath the light, and Shuichi found that thought amusing, even as his shirt was removed.

Suddenly, before he knew it, Kokichi was leaning over him, in nothing but his yellow-and-fuchsia-striped boxer briefs, and he was bare-chested and exposed, only his own dress pants left. The viewers were probably loving this right now. He looked up, to see Kokichi licking his lips again and leaning in ever closer. His eyes closed as a wetness passed up from the bottom of his chin to his temple. _Did he just lick me? I think he just licked me..._

"Nyeehee," Kokichi softly spoke, smiling so wide. "My Shumai's so cute..."

Squinting slightly against the light that shone around him, Shuichi looked up at the shadowed, descending form of his beloved partner. Slender fingers tripped down onto his waist, curving around his back, skin on skin. And then...

".......You're shaking." Shuichi gave voice to the observation that filled his eyes, filled his mind, and refused to leave. It was true. As Kokichi lowered his body over him, the thin arm pressing to his side was subtly jittering. The vibration was trembling uncertainty through Shuichi's skin, straight down into his heart...and there was no way he could ignore it now.

And...as he stared closely, he could physically see Kokichi's sharp little shoulders flinching up and down. Something...something was weird. Shuichi was weird, himself, of course, but... Something...

"Well of _course_ I am." Kokichi's desirous expression never faltered. "I'm shaking with all the passion I'm tying desperately to hold back. I don't know if I can hold it in much longer, Shuichi. I'm _lusting_ for your... _delicious_...body..."

That tiny bit of hesitation in his voice... It was weird, it was all so weird. Shuichi felt his heart pound at his ribcage. If that was...if that was what he truly wanted...

Kokichi lowered all the way, and his thin little chest pressed flat against Shuichi's upper stomach. The quick, desperate pulse of Kokichi's heart reverberated into him, such a fast beat...

Kokichi's arm snaked up his body, fingertips ending at his shoulderblade. He was so confused...just so confused... But then... Just then...something happened that made Shuichi's breath stop in his chest...something that entirely shattered his thoughts, his worries, his confusion, his doubts...replacing them with a new shock, a new concern. A terrible pain pricked his heart when he felt, when he realized, when it reached him...

Kokichi's hand over his shoulder had shuddered...and given two quick, soft, yet unmistakable squeezes in succession.

To anyone else, it would seem like nothing at all--just a twitch, an inconsequential reaction. But it wasn't. It meant something. It was a signal. And Shuichi knew very, very well what it was.

Throughout their time together, as they were slowly getting to know each other, to share their deeper feelings, there was one thing Shuichi had discovered... Though it was difficult for him by any means...it was a little easier for Kokichi to open up, to disclose his true feelings through nonverbal actions. If he didn't have to tell him in words, he was more likely to "speak up". Kokichi's heart was best expressed in subtle signals and touches and motions.

And since then, they'd developed a certain code--a means of communication solely between the two of them. Certain taps, squeezes, scratches, or rubs stood to communicate unspoken, unseen emotions. Things like "I'm feeling lonely", "I'm really happy", "I'm fed up with you", or "please stay with me" could be transmitted through simple touches. In this way, Kokichi would be able to tell Shuichi what he was truly feeling, even if he kept up a facade in front of everyone else. If he tapped once at Shuichi's neck, for instance, he would know that, despite the bright smile on his face, he was actually feeling ready to cry. And right now...

_Fear._ Two squeezes to the shoulder was the signal for fear. It meant "I'm feeling really afraid. I'm so scared and I don't know what to do." And Shuichi's heart was in pain. Kokichi wasn't full of the lustful desire he'd been so insistent on displaying. Not at all. In reality, he was terrified. And in that instant, Shuichi's mind was made up.

"Kokichi..." He held the boy, gently, cupping his hand around the back of his head, and he could feel the panicked pounding of his heart all the more. His chest clenched again, just feeling it and knowing... How had he failed to notice all this time...? He'd been too lost in his own anxiety and self-doubt to look past his front.

In a quiet whisper, Shuichi lowered his lips close and spoke into his ear. "...We don't have to do this, you know. It's okay."

"Yes!" Kokichi immediately cried out. Then...a return whisper hissed back at him. "Yes we do! If we don't...they won't get to leave, remember?! And besides, I _want_..."

Shuichi cut him off with a gentle stroke down his pale, shivering cheek. Now he knew. And Kokichi's weak protests couldn't get in the way. Nothing else mattered. Kokichi didn't actually want to make love to him...he never had. This whole thing was frightening him...but he was lying, trying to convince everyone, including himself, that he did want it, as terrified as he truly was.

_Kokichi...no. I won't let you do this. If you don't want this, then I definitely, definitely don't want this either._

"What did I tell you?" He softly, softly whispered to him, hoping it was quiet enough not to get picked up by Monokuma's hidden camera crew. "When we made this language...when we decided we'd stay together. What did I tell you? Did you forget? Did you forget what you promised me? Was that promise all just another lie to you?"

A fibrous softness rubbed at Shuichi's chest as Kokichi turned his head, strands of purple-dabbed hair brushing his skin. Then...there was another little pair of squeezes at his shoulder.

_Maybe...that was a little harsh. Maybe I shouldn't have said it like that._ It hurt so much, knowing that he'd frightened him, and Shuichi gingerly stroked the side of that small head, trying to let him know with his gentle touch... He wasn't really angry or upset. All he wished for was his comfort and security...be he had to break this destructive habit...for his own safety and protection.

"I told you...that you had to stop lying to yourself. That I don't care if you keep lying to other people, and even if you lie to me every now and then if you feel you really need to. But please...never, ever lie to yourself about what you feel in your own heart. Never. No more."

Kokichi's shivers became more minute, more internal. His hair shifted again, the bumps of his nose and lips against Shuichi's chest. And suddenly, Shuichi felt a tiny damp spot forming in that very area. Kokichi...Kokichi was graciously allowing a few of his heart's tears to fall, and Shuichi couldn't help but feel a bit...glad.

He tenderly stroked down the back of his neck to the middle of his spine, holding between his shoulderblades. It was an intimate, affectionate, caring action, but not one connected to any sexual desire. Purely the desire for closeness, warmth, and comfort. An outpouring of love. And Shuichi had come to a decision. All of his nerves had settled, absolutely sure. He knew what he had to do, what they had to do. He would never, ever hurt Kokichi, and he'd never allow Kokichi to throw himself into pain and terror. But to get around the rule...

After a moment, Shuichi tucked his head down, to whisper to Kokichi once more. "It's okay...all you need to do is be yourself. Lie. Not to me...but to _them_. And...I'll lie, too. Let's make a satisfying lie...together."

He felt Kokichi's breath catch, his small chest pulsing. His shivering halted...and when he lifted slightly away from him, he was smirking, through the glistening of moistened cheeks.

"Of _course_ ," he announced, the fabricated lustful hiss back in his tone. "Let's put on a spectacular performance now, shall we?"

Shuichi forced back his smile and tried to appear nervous and flustered. He was going to have to work hard to keep up with Kokichi's stellar acting, but he knew he would do it. As long as it was convincing enough...

He tried to make what he hoped sounded like a surprised squawk as Kokichi lifted back, grabbed the bedcovers...and forcefully threw them over the two of them, flopping back onto his chest. There. Now, they were entirely covered.

"Nyeeheeheehee! Mmmmm, yes, my Shumai...I'll show you everything I've got."

Shuichi blinked, looking down through the darkened screen of the blankets, to see Kokichi poking up at them, moving his arms and knees about, creating the illusion of shifting bodies underneath. He grinned, able to show his true face now.

"Nnnng..." Shuichi produced an awkward grunting noise. "Mmph...ohhhh...mnh!"

Then, Kokichi started kissing his own arm with wet, sloppy smacking noises, and the sight was so hilarious, Shuichi had to stifle his laughter.

And in this way...their act continued. Shuichi tried to scrape at the blankets, too, so it looked like he was moving and thrusting himself. Meanwhile, Kokichi managed to perfectly mimic a number of erotic moans, cupping his hands over his mouth for further effect. He'd even throw in little pants and huffs, and Shuichi tried to copy those sounds to the best of his ability. Their eyes met in the warm shadows, and Shuichi could see Kokichi silently laughing, even as he kept making pornographic noises. It was wonderful...and his own face broke into a joyful grin.

During the shuffling, Shuichi carefully slid his pants off, realizing that it would look weird and suspicious if he walked out of this with them still intact. For a few more minutes, the two boys huddled under the covers, making ridiculous noises and shapes and hiding their snickers.

At one point, Kokichi cupped the back of Shuichi's head...and threaded his fingers into his hair, giving three soft scratches. Instantly, Shuichi's heart glowed with affection...because he knew. _That_ was the signal for happiness...the words, the message..."I'm so happy now". And he pressed a single, silent, real kiss to Kokichi's softly flushed cheek.

Everything was _right_ again, everything would be okay. Everything felt as it should...caring and understanding and secure, loving affection. Just having fun together. And for once, Shuichi was overjoyed to be a part of one of Kokichi's tricks.

Shuichi made a couple of little kicking motions, and Kokichi let loose his biggest falsely orgasmic screech. "Ahhhh- _ahhhhhhhhhh_! _Shuuuuuuuu_!!"

Shuichi might have accidentally let out a tiny snort of suppressed laughter. To think of him screaming "Shu" like that...it wasn't even "Shumai", just "Shu". So, he decided he ought to play along. "A-Ah...ah...K-Kichi..."

He tried to make off that he was breathless...but it came out a little awkward, and Kokichi cocked an eyebrow at him. Oh, well.

A little bit more shuffling, and they figured that should be good enough. Shuichi ruffled his own hair a bit and then carefully slid up, poking his head above the covers. Fortunately, the heat was already making his face slightly pink, so it looked even more believable. Kokichi followed right after, flopping his head onto his chest and panting, as if exhausted.

A smile crept onto Shuichi's face, and it was actually genuine. They'd pulled it off. And now they could just relax and enjoy each other's company in relative peace. Even if their "activities" had been a farce, Shuichi was sure they'd still be spending the night here...and honestly, he didn't mind. With the lights off, he might be able to ignore the disturbing atmosphere. And Kokichi was here with him...happy, content.

But...he was wrong.

After several silent moments, lying in place, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, the steadied beating of his heart...Shuichi felt Kokichi shift, pulling himself upward. And one finger reached up...tapping twice at his cheek, just below his long eyelashes.

A barbed little lump curled into Shuichi's throat. This was the signal of _guilt_...the signal of "I'm sorry", the signal of "I feel really bad about this".

" _Why_...?" He couldn't stop the question from sliding out between his teeth, the hiss probably too loud, because Kokichi immediately pressed a finger to his lips.

"Well...duh..." His replying whisper was so soft, he barely caught it. "It...should be obvious..."

The silent, confused look on Shuichi's face must have convinced him that he really didn't know...because he ground his teeth a bit and turned his face away. "It's... Well, I can't... I'm not... I won't ever..."

And then, he understood...and his heart was cracking. What went unsaid, what he couldn't find the voice to admit. " _I won't ever want to have sex with you. Because that's not the way I am_."

"Kokichi..." Very tenderly and carefully, Shuichi cupped his hands around his bony shoulder and nestled him into a hug. He was trembling again, though not quite as much, and it made his chest even more sore. In the softest whisper, he announced... "That...doesn't matter to me. I love _you_. I love you, and I would never leave you because of something like this. You matter so, so much more than any of that. And...if we're being honest here..." He threw in a little embarrassed chuckle. "I...never really had a desire for that either. I was...willing to try, if that's what you wanted, but...I didn't feel any need. So...it works out."

"Ehee..." A nervous, perhaps relieved little giggle came from Kokichi's hunched form. And he turned his head back, nuzzling his hair into Shuichi's neck and causing him to giggle, too, from the tickling softness. "I love you too. You're utterly perfect, Shuichi." His arms returned the embrace, and Shuichi felt all his sorrow and worry melting away.

_This_ was what "making love" meant to him...the creation, the expression of a deep connection between two souls who cared about each other more anything. It was such a beautiful feeling, it almost made him tear up. Kokichi's love and his love...it was real, it was the most true thing he could ever feel, and despite what those exacting robots proclaimed, there was no need to "prove it" with "consummation".

"I love you, Kokichi," Shuichi said out loud, one last time, before drawing his eyelids closed. The warm closeness was soothing him, lulling him into rest.

And with the truth and the love nestled in their hearts, they curled up together in perfect, reassured, mutual serenity. As one.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to show a few different variations on asexuality--in this fic, Kokichi is a homoromantic ace and sex-repulsed, while Shuichi is a biromantic ace and just feels nothing, neither positive or negative about sex. Sorry if you were expecting either of them to be aro--maybe I should do an aromantic oneshot with them too, sometime. Please don't come to me with a laundry list of reasons this isn't canon, because I know. Also, I hope the ending doesn't sound too much like I'm saying their love is "better" and "more pure" for being asexual, because that's a terrible attitude. And never, never, never do what Kokichi does! Always, always be honest about what you want and don't want with your partner! It's very important.


End file.
